“We have the same conversation over and over.”
“This conversation is going nowhere.”
“I’ve said the same thing before, why don’t you get it?”
“I feel like you’re not hearing me.”
Have you tried all the communication tips and tricks and still feel like your conversations are going nowhere? Especially if the conversation is heated? More times than not, when working with couples the first hurdle is how to listen well. There is a big distinction between listening respond and listening to hear.
Listening to respond often looks like coming up with a response to question the other person, convince them they are wrong, correct or criticize, and defend yourself. You prioritize your perspective and place judgment on their differing perspective.
Listening to hear looks like remaining curious, suspending judgment, practicing patience, and honoring the perspective and feelings of your partner, even if you don’t agree or understand.
Listening to hear makes your partner feel heard, seen, validated, and loved rather than brushed aside, ignored, and alone.
Be encouraged, this sounds simple in theory, but if you find it difficult that's because IT IS! If you need help, accountability, and encouragement to get your relationship back on track, get in touch with a relationship therapist.
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